Our Domestic Adoption Story

Posted on 30. Apr, 2011 by in Adoption Stories, Archives, Domestic Adoption, Domestic Adoption Stories, Open Adoption

Are you considering adoption? Or are you already beginning the adoption process?  I hope our first adoption story will help you wherever you are in your own adoption journey.

Starting out

My wife and I began thinking about adoption in 2005. Having dealt with infertility for many years we started looking at information on the internet. We were confused and had a lot of unanswered questions.

Where do you start? How does the adoption process work?

Is domestic or international adoption better for us? How much will it cost? How long would we wait to bring a baby home?

We had spent countless days and weeks trying to find good information to help us build our family. During this process, I couldn’t believe how difficult it was to find the answers we were looking for.  We decided to start calling agencies and adoption professionals to try to get some answers.

A breakthrough

Making the decision that we really wanted to adopt a newborn baby was huge. It meant domestic infant adoption was for us. We quickly learned that we could get help from a local adoption agency, an adoption attorney, or try to independently adopt (find a birthmother on our own) by using an adoption facilitator.

We chose to independently adopt using a facilitator – Lifetime Adoption – who helps you connect with a expectant mother by searching nationwide. This was important to us because we live an area a low population. We knew our wait time would be a lot longer if we limited our search to just our city or state.

In early 2006, we completed our homestudy with the state adoption agency and contracted with Lifetime. We completed our profile (multiple page dear birthmother letter with pictures) and sent 50 copies to Lifetime.

The Wait

Ironically it took 9 months until our daughter was placed with us. The wait was very discouraging at times and we second guessed everything, from the way we made our profile to if we were using the right people to help us.

The folks at Lifetime were so encouraging during those times. They assured us that our profile was fine – it would just take the right birthmother for us.

The Call

In March 2007 we got the call from our adoption coordinator. She said an expectant mother wanted to talk to us – and hopefully match with us. The even bigger news was that she was having a girl and was due in a week. WOW!

The next day, our daughter’s birthmom called us and we spoke for the first time. She was amazing. She loved our printed profile and especially our profile video – watching the DVD we put in our printed profile over and over again.

We talked for over an hour and by the end of the call we were matched! It was a whirlwind week as we made arrangements to go to Nevada for the birth. All of the waiting and suddenly everything was happening really fast.

At the hospital – the emotional extremes

We arrived at the hospital 4 hours after our daughter was born because she came a couple of days earlier than expected. This was the first time we met our daughter’s birthmom. It was a little awkward (OK – a lot awkward), but we hugged her like she was family.

She was holding the little angel and immediately asked if we wanted to hold her. YES – we did! Our daughter’s birthmom is such a strong, wonderful, sweet, and loving woman. All she wanted was for her daughter to have a mom and a dad – she loved her sooooo much and it showed big time.

For example, she wanted us to name her baby girl. So right after the baby was born, she asked if we chose a name. My wife and I hadn’t settled on one yet, but we knew we wanted to get her opinion.

We told her the names we were considering. She really liked one of them, so we told her that was her name. What an awesome story we have to tell our daughter about how she was named!

The day we left the hospital was the most difficult day. We had emotion hitting us from all directions. Finally, after years and years, we were holding a precious baby girl who would be our daughter.

There was incredible joy as we realized our dreams were coming true. Yet, we had unbelievable sadness for her birthmom. She was in pain. We knew it, we felt it, and it hurt.

We were all in tears as we hugged goodbye. We didn’t know if we’d ever see her again. We reassured her that we would take great care of her baby girl. We would send her pictures and letters every month for the first year, and then more after that if she wished.

Our new family

We had to stay for 12 days in Nevada to let the ICPC (Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children) paperwork to be completed since we lived in another state than where our baby was born.

It was amazing to spend so much quality time as a new family. We cuddled her, we took TONS of pictures, and just soaked up every minute we had with her. Since we were so far from home, it was just the three of us. We were learning how to take care of a tiny little baby – not getting much sleep – but loving every minute of it.

As we arrived in the airport back home, some of our family were there to greet us – which was made us so happy. We wanted to celebrate finally coming home with our little girl, starting our new life as a family of three.

Our dream had finally come true.

 

Now that you’ve read about our first adoption story, click here to read about our second adoption story.

Want to read MORE domestic adoption stories?  Click here for more!

Click here for more information about Lifetime Adoption Center (the facilitator we use).

Where are YOU in the adoption process?

WHAT’S YOUR STORY? Leave a comment below.

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5 Responses to “Our Domestic Adoption Story”

  1. Michele

    09. May, 2011

    Tim,
    Good luck with your new site and thank you for sharing your story. As a mom blessed with five children through domestic adoption, I love to learn about others stories. My first adoption journey touched me immensely and today I run a full service domestic and international adoption agency. On Saturday we celebrated Birth Mother’s Day with many of our birth mothers who have worked with the agency and with many adoptive families… over 100 of us attended and it was beautiful.
    http://www.adoptionstar.com/articles

  2. James

    13. Sep, 2012

    Hello, what a great story!
    We are also highly considering using Lifetime, so it is good to hear that you had a good experience with them. I am curious to know of the situation at the hospital when your baby was born? Was their a social worker or legal rep there to assist and guide you through what was happening? Just curious

  3. Tim

    13. Sep, 2012

    Hi, James!
    Glad you enjoyed reading our story – which is still unfolding as we speak since my wife and I are matched and waiting for a little boy to be born soon! Anyway, you asked about Lifetime and our experience at the hospital when our little girl was born. Well, Lifetime helped us make arrangements with the Nevada social worker who was supposed to be at the hospital to help us and the birthmother. However, she was getting back late from her vacation on a cruise ship so no one could get a hold of her until we were already at the hospital and the baby was born. No fault of Lifetime, but it was kinda difficult and wierd being at the hospital without a social worker there. We dealt with it and everything turned out great – the social worker was very sorry that we couldn’t get a hold of her – and she was awesome to work with. Hope this helps! By the way, my wife and I are working with Lifetime again on our 2nd adoption – and we just completed a Q & A webinar with them where we told our story to lots of people. I’ll see if I can get a copy of that webinar and repost it on IAG. Thanks for the comments! If you have any more questions – especially about our experience with Lifetime, you can email me: [email protected]

  4. Holly

    17. Jan, 2014

    Thanks for sharing your stories. The first adoption sounds very similar to ours. We started looking at the end of June 2012 and we bad a baby 9 months later. :) Maybe we will be so lucky the second time around.

  5. Tim

    17. Jan, 2014

    Holly – yep, it sounds like both of our first adoptions are similar. Our second one took a bit longer for various reasons – see that story here: http://www.infantadoptionguide.com/second-adoption-story-update
    Hope your second one is even shorter than 9 months! Thanks for sharing.

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