Archive for 'Domestic Adoption'

IAG 005: Adoption Agency Review: An interview with Mardie Caldwell from Lifetime Adoption Center [Podcast]

Posted on 09. May, 2013 by .

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In this episode of the Infant Adoption Guide Podcast we talk with Mardie Caldwell, COAP (Certified Open Adoption Practitioner), CEO and Founder of Lifetime Adoption Center. Mardie Caldwell

Mardie is a nationally recognized adoption expert. She is the author of 7 books (soon to be 8) which include AdoptingOnline.comAdoption: Your Step-By-Step Guide, and Called to Adoption. 

     adoptingonline_s     adoptionstepbystepbook     calledtoadoptionbook

She has been dedicated to bringing couples and birthparents together since 1986. She has struggled through infertility and the loss of 7 pregnancies. Her most important title – adoptive mom.

In this episode, you’ll find out about:

  • Mardie’s domestic adoption story about how she became an adoptive mother
  • How Mardie went on to start Lifetime Adoption Center
  • Tips from Mardie on how to get past open adoption fears
  • How the Lifetime Foundation helps support birthparents
  • Advice for anyone who may be just starting to look into adoption
  • Mardie’s Mother’s Day stories
  • And MUCH MORE!

Here are the links that we discuss in the show…

Click on the iTunes logo to subscribe to the podcast.itunes logo high res

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QUESTION: What research ideas do you have in finding the right adoption agency?

Click here to leave your answer in the comments below.

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18 Money Saving Tips For Domestic Adoption Travel

Posted on 04. May, 2013 by .

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HotelThe costs for domestic infant adoption in the U.S. can be overwhelming – especially if you have to travel to another state.

Once you are matched and know where you are traveling to, you can save money with some research and preparation.

My wife and I have adopted twice – both times from other states. We made some mistakes and learned from our travel experiences. Here are the 18 Tips that will save you money on domestic adoption travel:

Adoption baby bag tips.

  • Carry it on with you. Most airlines will allow you to carry on a diaper bag in addition to your normal carry on items – even if you don’t have the baby yet. This will allow you to save money on extra checked baggage.
  • Buy most of what you need when you get there. If your baby bag is full after you finish packing – ask yourself, ‘Do we really need to travel with all this stuff or can we pick up what we need when we get there.’ This may not save you money, but bringing less with you will save your arms from lugging it around the airport. [...]

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IAG 004: An Adoption Story – an interview with adoptive parents Josh & Laci [Podcast]

Posted on 15. Apr, 2013 by .

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CLICK HERE or on the PLAY button above to listen right now.

In this episode of the Infant Adoption Guide Podcast you’ll hear the adoption story from new adoptive parents Josh and Laci – and how they adopted their little boy in early 2013!Josh & Laci

They share the ups and the downs of their adoption journey – and what it was like to adopt a newborn from the other end of the United States.

In this episode, you’ll find out about:

  • Josh and Laci’s domestic adoption story
  • Why they went on the Price Is Right game show to raise money for their adoption
  • Tips from Josh and Laci on how to talk with a birthmother
  • What it is like to be matched with a birthmother
  • Some of biggest obstacles they had to overcome
  • What it was like to adopt a newborn from the other side of the country
  • And MUCH MORE!

CLICK HERE (or on the iTunes logo) to subscribe & listen to the podcast in iTunes.

CLICK HERE (or on the logo) to listen to it on Stitcher.

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Your Feedback

If you have a topic that you would like me to talk about on an upcoming episode, send me an e-mail.

For more stories, please check out my post domestic adoption stories to inspire you.

As we talk about in the podcast, Laci is a graphic artist and she creates adoption profiles. Her website www.LaciMorganCreations.com shows you her “Made With Love” adoption profiles – she can help you create your adoption profile so go check it out!

Question: What other questions do you have about adoption fundraising? You can leave a comment by clicking here.

Thanks for listening!

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How to adopt: What is the first step to start your domestic adoption journey?

Posted on 04. Apr, 2013 by .

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The adoption process can be very overwhelming. It is hard to know where to start. 

Get your future startedBefore you begin your adoption journey, you must first understand how the process works and what your options are.

But don’t worry – if you are just starting to look into what adoption is all about and you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember this:

You are NOT alone. 

I have been in your shoes and I want to help break down the process to make it easier. So, to get started – you simply need to take the first step.

You see, back in 2006 my wife and I took our first step on our adoption journey. We had to answer some questions about how we wanted to build our family. Some of these were easy to answer, and others took some time and lots of discussion.

Here are the questions that helped us decide what kind of domestic adoption we wanted. 

1. Do we want to adopt a newborn?

This question was easy for us. We knew on both of our adoptions that we wanted to adopt a newborn – so this is the biggest reason why we chose domestic adoption.

2. What age or age range do we prefer?  

Adoption agencies and attorneys will ask your preferences for how old of a child you would like to adopt, so this question is one you have to tackle.

3. Do we want to adopt a boy or a girl (or does it matter to you)?

Choosing one or the other is OK if it is the right decision for your family – just understand that it may extend your wait time a bit. Also, there are always cases where the doctor thinks the baby will be a boy or a girl – and then we find out they are wrong once the baby is born.

4. Should we adopt from another state (which involves more money/time off of work/etc.)?

There are 2 points to this question:

1. If you open up your options to adopt from outside your home state, it increases your reach to more potential birthparents which can reduce the time is takes to match and have a baby placed with you.

2. It can cost you more money to adopt from another state. You will have to have an attorney from the sending and receiving state, and you will have to travel and stay in the state where the birthparents are until ICPC guidelines are satisfied.

Answering this quesiton also depends on the area that you live in – if you are in a highly populated city & state then there is a greater chance of matching with birthparents in your state.

My wife and I live in a less populated state, so we adopted from other states on our first two adoptions. It significantly shortened our waiting time because we were open to matching with birthparents from anywhere in the U.S.

5. Does race matter to us when we consider adopting a child into our family?

This is an important one to consider – and for your whole family to be on the same page. For help with this, check out the great articles and blogs that Adoptive Family magazine has about trans-racial adoption.

6. How open are you to having an ongoing relationship with birthparents?

In most newborn adoptions, the birthparents select the adoptive parents. Better than 50% of the time, they also meet in person. 

According to the Adoption Institute, it has also become increasingly common for birth and adoptive families to have some form of direct contact after placement. This is called “open adoption,” but the degree of openness can vary significantly.

Birth and adoptive parents may meet before the adoption is finalized and have no further contact, or the families may maintain some level of ongoing contact throughout the child’s life, such as exchanging photos or letters or having face-to-face meetings.

7. How much money do you have (or will you have) to adopt?

According to Adoptive Families magazine, domestic adoptions can cost anywhere from $20,000 to $40,000. I have some resources on InfantAdoptionGuide.com to help you with adoption costs.

It is a great idea to prepare an adoption budget. Be sure you are realistic on how much time you’ll need in order to save enough money so you are prepared to have a child placed with you.

8. Do we need someone to hold our hands through the process?

Some agencies do a lot more to help you get through every step along the way. Others are there for you but do not have the staff or the resources to hold your hand as much.

For example, agency A is “full service” because they provide you with everything from the home study to attorneys to birthmother search/screening. Agency B is not full service because you will have to do more of the leg work yourself, such as finding an attorney or getting your home study completed.

One is not necessarily better than the other – you need to find out what is best for you.

For some help with this one, check out my resource links at the end of this post. 

9. How do we handle potential adoption scams?

Sadly, there are women posing as birthmothers who will call and tell you their sad story and how they are willing to give you their baby – if you are willing to help her with money. Many times, it is difficult for adoptive parents to tell if it is a scam.

This is true especially when they are not asking for money because it is an emotional scam. While you may be able to save money by not paying someone to screen potential birthmothers, it is much more risky.

In my opinion, you should have a trusted and well-trained professional that is not emotionally involved in your adoption situation to handle birthmother screening. Most agencies will do the screening for you.

I think that because adoptive parents are obviously emotionally involved (aka – we want to be parents as soon as possible) we cannot objectively find out if the expectant mother is really pregnant and not trying to scam us – because it does happen.

Click here for some good articles about adoption fraud/scams. Click here for more articles. 

10. How long will we have to wait?

There are surveys which show that most adoptive families successfully adopt within two years of starting. This depends on how long it takes for you to match with a birthmother. A lot of factors go into it, such as how well you present yourself to expectant mothers.

But here is what it all boils down to - somewhere out there an expectant mother believes adoption is the best choice for her baby and now she is looking for the perfect family – which is you.

If you’ve made it through these questions – Congratulations! You’ve completed the first step and you are on your way to building your family through domestic adoption! Now you can go to the next step – finding the right adoption agency/professional.

Here are some resources:

QUESTION: Where are you on your adoption journey? Have you started? Click here to enter your comments below.

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5 Tips for Surviving the Adoption Wait

Posted on 06. Mar, 2013 by .

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You know the old saying “good things come to those who wait”?man hanging on rope

For most of us who are trying to build our family through adoption – we have a hard time grasping this. Every day that we wait for our baby feels like forever. We so badly want to be parents, and it is soooo tough to wait.

As my wife and I went through our first adoption journey to adopt our baby girl, we struggled with waiting. We had waited so long and had been through so much to be able to start our family.

But we did it – and you can too!  

Now that we’ve adopted a second time, I want to share what we’ve learned about getting through the wait.

The following are 5 of the 25 tips we’ve found for surviving the adoption wait. The good news is…you can get ALL 25!

You only have to enter your name and email address on this page (either on the sidebar or below this post) and I’ll send you the complete list that you can print, save, or email.

 

5 (of 25) Tips For Surviving The Adoption Wait

 

1. Make a keepsake for your future child.

My wife likes to crochet (and she’s really good at it), so she made a special baby blanket for both of our children. You can use your talents to create a special keepsake.

Click here to read about how one adoptive mother made a special quilt even though she had never quilted before.

The process of making a special keepsake – just like the domestic adoption process – can be one of love, patience, perseverance, and determination.

 

2. Setup a Facebook page for your adoption profile.

There are over 500 million daily Facebook users. When you set up your own Facebook page telling the world about your desire to adopt, it is a very powerful way to connect with potential birthparents.

Click here to see my post about how to use Facebook for your adoption journey.

 

3. Find a reputable adoption attorney.

You will need an attorney for ICPC and finalization. I recommend finding one from the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys. This is a national association of approximately 340 attorneys throughout the U.S. and Canada who are experienced in the complexities of adoption law as well as interstate regulations.

The Academy is the largest and most accessible resource for finding an adoption attorney.

 

4. Learn about birthmothers.

Here are some articles where you can learn more about birthmothers:

Things I Wish All Adoptive Parents Knew (from a Birthmother’s point of view)

How to have that first birthmother conversation

10 simple gifts you could give

My top 5 birthmother blogs

 

5. Create a video about how you are preparing for your child.

Put together a video that captures your thoughts and feelings while you are on your journey. You will treasure this when your child is older and can see what you went through while you waited for them to become part of the family.

For example – you could show how you have set up the nursery, how you put together your profile, and even interview family & friends about what they were doing to get ready. It would be pretty cool to someday watch the video together with your child.

 

If you like these 5 tips – go get the other 20 tips for FREE! 

You only have to enter your name and email address on this page (either on the sidebar or below this post) and I’ll send you the complete list that you can print, save, or email.

QUESTION: What do you think? What are some tips that you have to survive the adoption wait? Email me or click here to leave your comment.

 

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The AdoptionApp Review

Posted on 12. Feb, 2013 by .

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There is a new adoption app for iPods, iPads, iPhones and Android phones that helps you on your adoption journey.

TheAdoptionAppThe AdoptionApp was created by Sharon Simons of MomAtLast.com. She is an adoptive mom who found herself having difficulty navigating her way through the Adoption Process. This provided the inspiration for her to create this mobile organizer & resource guide to help adoptive families.

When I recently downloaded the AdoptionApp to my iPhone, I knew this was something the adoption community needed. I want to provide you with this app review so you can learn about it, download it, and start using it to help you on your journey.

It is simple to use – it helps families stay organized through the entire process – and it provides some great adoption resources.

This mobile app will guide you through the many steps & tasks that need to be completed before your Domestic or International Adoption is approved.

Here’s what the AdoptionApp will do:

  • Give you detailed information & documentation on the home study process for both Domestic & International Adoption.
  • Keeps you organized with detailed checklists of tasks & documentation that needs to be completed for your Domestic or International Adoption.
  • Gives you a ton of resources to keep you informed throughout your adoption journey.
  • Provides a handy calendar that allows you to sync it with your already existing calendar to keep you on time for all of your Adoption related meetings & appointments.
  • Lets you read articles & success stories about adoption, motherhood & more.

Click here to read FAQ’s about the AdoptionApp.

Click here to watch the AdoptionApp demo video.

Here’s what I like about the app:

1. The Adoption Checklist. It provides home study checklist details and allows you add or delete anything so you can make the checklist customize-able to your adoption process. I went in and added a check for completing our adoption profile.

It also provides links to those items in your checklist that you need help finding information to complete. For example, under the Criminal Background Check in the HomeStudy Checklist, there is a link to find out how to get your background check completed in your home state.

2. The Adoption Resources page. This includes several great adoption sites – including my very own InfantAdoptionGuide.com!

3. The Calendar function. This is really cool since it will sync up to my iPhone calendar where I can add reminders, notes, and alerts.

I’m sure that by now you are wondering about only one thing…the COST.

As of writing this post, the app is $4.99 in the iTunes Store. This is worth it when you consider how much time you can save. Go get it and you’ll be happy with it.

QUESTION: What do you think about the AdoptionApp?  Email me or you can leave a comment by Clicking Here.

 

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Adoption Tax Credit update: Now its permanent!

Posted on 28. Jan, 2013 by .

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The adoption tax credit has helped families offset the high cost of adoption since it was first put into law in 1997. Many folks see the credit as vital to providing loving homes to as many children as possible. As great as the credit has been for children and for adoptive parents, it has never been a permanent part of our tax laws…until now.Tax form

In January 2013 Congress passed the American Taxpayer Relief Act of 2012, which made the adoption tax credit permanent.

For 2013 the maximum adoption tax credit is $12,970.

Before I go any further, let me say that I am not a tax professional.  Due to the complexity of the adoption tax credit, I personally use and recommend having a tax professional complete your return.  OK, now let’s look at what the adoption tax credit means for 2012 and 2013.

For 2012

  • How much is the credit?  The Adoption Tax Credit for 2012 is $12,650 per adopted child.
  • The credit is nonrefundable, meaning the credit an adoptive parent will receive depends on their federal income tax liability. The credit can be “carried over” for up to 5 additional years (see examples of this below for more information.)
  • What are the income limits for the credit?  Families with an income below $189,710 can claim full credit. Those that make between $189,710 and $229,710 can claim partial credit, and those that make over $229,710 cannot claim the credit.
  • What are the expenses that can be claimed? Families get the credit based on their qualified adoption expenses. These are the “reasonable and necessary expenses” that you have paid to complete the adoption, such as: Adoption fees (paid to an agency or attorney), court costs, and travel expenses. Check out this IRS page for more about expenses. If your expenses are less than $12,650, you can only claim the amount of the expenses. If they are more than $12,650, you can only claim the maximum of $12,650.
  • When can you claim it? Families who adopt internationally cannot claim the credit until the year of finalization. If you are adopting from the U.S. you can claim the credit the year of finalization OR the year after you had adoption expenses. This is a very important point, so I have an example for you:  A family starts the domestic adoption process in 2010 and has $5,000 in expenses in 2010, $5,000 in 2011, and $2,000 in 2012. They are able to finalize the adoption in 2012. They can claim the $5,000 spent in 2010 on their 2011 taxes. They will have to wait to claim the $5,000 and $2,000 on their 2012 taxes.

For 2013

  • How much is the credit?  The Adoption Tax Credit for 2013 is $12,970 per adopted child.
  • The credit remains nonrefundable, meaning the credit an adoptive parent will receive depends on their federal income tax liability. The credit can be “carried over” for up to 5 additional years.
  • What are the income limits for the credit?  Families with an income below $194,580 can claim the full credit. Those that make between $194,580 and $234,580 can claim partial credit, and those that make over $234,580 cannot claim the credit.
  • What are the expenses that can be claimed?  The qualified adoption expenses have the same rules that applied in 2012.
  • When can you claim it?  The rules for 2013 are the same as in 2012 – no changes. Families who adopt internationally cannot claim the credit until the year of finalization. If you are adopting from the U.S. you can claim the credit the year of finalization or the year after you had adoption expenses.

What does “nonrefundable” mean?

A nonrefundable credit means the adoptive family will get the adoption tax credit based on what their federal income tax liability is for 2012 (and the next five years). Families can use as much of the credit as they have federal income tax liability, which is the amount of federal tax you owe as shown on line 46 of the Form 1040. Even if you normally get a refund, you may still have tax liability and can get a larger refund with the adoption tax credit. You have a total of 6 years to claim the credit (starting with the year you first claimed the credit plus five additional years.)

Want to read more about the Adoption Tax Credit?  Here are some resources:

IRS.gov Adoption Tax Credit  

NACAC (North American Council on Adoptable Children)

Adoptiontaxcredit.org  Be sure to check out their Frequently Asked Questions page.

My previous posts: Adoption-tax-credit-2011-2012 and Will the adoption tax credit go away after 2012? 

Questions:  What does the Adoption Tax Credit mean for you?  What is your question about the credit? 

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IAG 002: How to select the right adoption agency for you [Podcast]

Posted on 12. Jan, 2013 by .

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In this episode of the Infant Adoption Guide Podcast, we talk about how to select the right adoption agency.Infant Adoption Guide Podcast
6 reasons why you need to choose a good adoption professional.
6 websites that will help you find a good adoption professional.
12 questions you should ask an adoption professional.

Once you make the decision to grow your family through domestic adoption, you’ll need to find a good adoption agency and attorney.  You may even want more than one to help you on your journey.

This may be the most important decision you will make. There are hundreds to choose from and it can take hours, days, even weeks to get the information you need to make a good decision for your family.

The 6 reasons why you need to choose a good adoption professional – and the right one for you and your situation:

1. Homestudy:  Every adoptive couple needs this done before you can have a child placed with you.
2. Support (for birthmothers): This critical in my opinion. After going through two newborn adoptions, I see how important it is for birthmothers to get support. They are in crisis and they need all the counseling and support they can get.
3. Support (for you):  Everyone has differing level of needs on their adoption journey, but we all need some support on how it works. You need caring professionals that take the time to explain things to you – and help answer questions you have along the way.
4. Finding and screening birthmothers:  Let’s face it – none of us want to wait a long time to start a family only to get scammed. In my opinion, you should let a trained adoption professional handle birthmother screening. They have the experience to know what to look for, how to talk to potential birthmothers, what to ask them, and the right documentation to get so you can avoid adoption scams.
5. Avoiding adoption scams:  working with experienced professionals will help because they are trained to spot scams.  They deal with a lot of situations so they are better equipped to avoid adoption fraud.
6. Legal Help: You’ll have to get help from an adoption attorney for placement, ICPC, and finalization.  Some agencies have attorneys on staff so you don’t have to hire one – but if you need one go to the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys at AdoptionAttorneys.org.

6 websites that will help you find an adoption agency or attorney:

1. AdoptionProfessionals.com :  Search by professional type – such as adoption attorney, public agency, private agency, social worker, etc. You can search by state and they’ll show you the professional’s name, contact info, services they provide, the states in which they are licensed, and the states where they can work with adoptive couples.
2. Adoptive Families Magazine :  The popular magazine provides a map of the U.S. where you can click on your state to find an adoption agency or attorney that is close to where you live.
3. AdoptionAgencyReviews.com :  Search for adoption agencies by name and location. They also allow you to compare multiple agencies.  Another cool feature shows their top reviewed agencies.
4. MyAdoptionAgencies.com :  Shows almost 500 domestic adoption agencies. You can search by state and each listing shows the agency description, location, contact info, and rating.
5. AdoptionAgencyRatings.com :  They list over 1200 adoption agencies that are rated by adoptive parents, birthparents, and adoptees. They list agencies by zip code, by map location, by the top 20 agencies, and more.
6. AdoptionAttorneys.org:  The American Academy of Adoption Attorneys.

12 Questions to ask adoption professionals:

1. How long have you been helping adoptive families?
2. Which states are you licensed in?
3. How many infants have you placed in each of the past 3 years?
4. What is the average wait time to match with a birthmother or place a child?  
5. What is your reclaim rate-how often birthmothers change their mind?  
6. What are your fees, and what are they for?
7. How do you find birthmothers?
8. What support do you give birthmothers, before and after placement?  
9. Have you completed interstate adoptions?
10. How many adoptive couples are you currently working with?  
11.Can you provide a list of references of former clients?
12.What type of support, education and preparation is offered to us?

To download and print out these questions, click the link below:
www.InfantAdoptionGuide.com/12questions

I also have a set of three blog posts that go into the questions in more detail.

I agree with Dawn Davenport, of CreatingaFamily.org who says that selecting an adoption agency should be a 3 step process:
1. Do online research to narrow down choices to those you can interview.
2. Narrow down your choices even more by interviewing agencies.
3. Perform extensive background checks on 2-3 agencies, which means looking into reviews and ratings, talking with others who have worked with the agency,

I’ve found 3 domestic adoption agencies that have little or no upfront fees, so I invite you to Click here to read that blog post.

Question: What struggles do you have in finding the right adoption agency or professional?  Click Here to enter your comments below.

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6 things we would have done differently on our first adoption

Posted on 23. Dec, 2012 by .

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Now that my wife and I have gone through two domestic adoptions, we’ve had some time to step back and reflect on both adoption stories.  One was very different from the other and thankfully we learned from the first one how to go about things a little better on the second one.  If you haven’t read them yet, here are links to our first story and our second story.

Here are the six things we would have done differently on our first adoption journey.

1. We wish we would have wrote down our thoughts and feelings while going through the journey.

There’s no doubt we remembered some of our thoughts and feelings, but if we wrote them down immediately (or shortly after) we could have captured more details that we may have forgotten.  This is especially true when important events happen such as getting the call about a birthmother who wants to talk with you – or the first time you talk with her on the phone – or the first time you meet your baby.

While there is some truth that is better to let yourself experience moments in your life rather than worrying about writing them all down, there are benefits to capturing those moments – such as:

–You can give your child even more details about their adoption story – things you might not recall from memory.

–The details that you write down may help you understand the birthparents and possibly help you build better relationships with them.

–Some special detail you wrote down may help you understand more about your child (for instance if the birthparents shared some family medical history with you).

2. We wish we would have met with (or at least offered to meet up with) baby A’s birthmother after she was born.

Since this was an interstate adoption, we had to spend several days in the state where baby A was born so ICPC (Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children) paperwork could be approved.  So why didn’t we offer to meet up with baby A’s birthmother?

We had no idea if she wanted to meet up with us.  She may or may not have taken us up on our offer and we regret not at least asking.  Maybe she would have wanted to get a few more hugs and kisses before we left – or maybe she simply wanted to see how much we loved and cared for her baby.

On our second adoption, baby J’s birthparents wanted to see him a lot before we left the state and we felt it was actually very good for them to see how much we loved and cared for him.  Certainly not all birthparents are the same, but I can definitely understand the desire to want to see their baby for a few more moments.

3. We wish we would’ve asked baby A’s birthmother more questions (and wrote down the answers later).

I wouldn’t want to overwhelm her with tons of questions, but since we had only known her for less than a week before baby A was born, we wish that we had asked her more.

We should have asked things like: What kind of dreams do you have for baby A?  What do you wish that she would have in her life?  What special family traditions do you have?  What is your family history?  What are your parents and siblings like?

After thinking about this some more, I’m pretty sure that we asked some of these questions at the time – we just didn’t follow through and write down her answers later so we would remember (see #1 above).

4. We wish we would’ve taken more pictures of baby A’s birthmother.

We have exactly two pictures of her (and neither are very good).  Since we didn’t know her very well before baby A was born, we weren’t sure if she would like us taking pictures of her.  We could’ve taken some pictures that weren’t posed – maybe one of her feeding or holding baby A.

We could’ve asked the hospital staff to take pictures of us with baby A and her birthmother.  We would at least have some pictures that we could show baby A what her birthmother looked like other than in a hospital bed.  Right now, that is the only picture we have of her birthmother.

5. We wish had made a better (first) choice in hotel.

On our first adoption, we knew we would have to stay in another state for 1-2 weeks and we we tried to save some money by staying at a cheaper hotel.  But once saw the room we knew why it was cheaper – and we knew we made a mistake.  The room was in poor shape, smelled, had 1970′s appliances, and wasn’t particularly clean.  It’s only good feature was that it was close to the hospital.  

We prepaid for 7 nights to lock in a discounted rate, but only stayed 2 nights.  After seeing the room’s poor condition (and the other not so welcoming guests that were staying there), there was no way we were going to bring the baby to this place.  We ended up staying at a Holiday Inn Express that was awesome, clean, and the manager even gave us a great discount after hearing about our adoption story. 

Lessons learned: stay at a hotel that you are familiar with (or have some great references for) so you know what you are getting (my choices are Holiday Inn Express and Hilton hotels) - and don’t prepay.

For more adoption travel information, check out my post 10 Domestic Adoption Travel Tips.

6. We wish we would’ve found a support group during our first adoption journey.

This could have been done through a local support group or with an online group (such as a Facebook group).  We really didn’t know what we were missing. 

During our second adoption, we have been a part of a Facebook group that has been awesome.  These are all people that are on the same journey as we are.  They provide a virtual shoulder to lean on, a place to confidentially tell your thoughts, stresses, fears, doubts, etc.  They simply ‘get’ us because they are in the same boat as we are.  It is very difficult to find that kind of support – but it is so great when you find it.

 Question: What do you wish you would have done differently on your adoption journey?  You can leave a comment below.

 

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An update of our second adoption story (our newest addition is here!)

Posted on 19. Nov, 2012 by .

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My wife and I have been on our second journey to adopt a newborn.

If you haven’t already, go see how our first adoption story happened and you can check out how our second adoption story began.

Here’s the latest update to our story.  I hope this will encourage and inspire you on your own adoption journey.

The Call and the Match

Waiting for a match with birthparents was long and difficult.  We tried our best to be hopeful and prayerful that we would get a call that some birthparents found us and wanted to match with us. 

During our adoption journey, there have been some really special moments, as you might imagine.  I call these special moments my “WOW” moments.  It is when I am so taken with what just happened that all I can do is say…WOW.  Well, one of these WOW moments came when we first heard that some birthparents where interested in us.  

We were eating dinner one night when the phone rang.  For a fleeting moment, I thought “this could be the call” but then it was a telemarketer so I hung up.  Ugh.  No sooner than I sat back down, the phone rang again.  This time I jumped up and picked up the phone thinking I’ve got that telemarketer calling me back.  I was wrong.  [...]

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